Molly Malones Friends..

Molly Malone’s Friends….

In my blog on Molly Malone – she of the Cockles and Mussels fame in Dublin, I mentioned the fact that as soon as a statue is erected in Dublin, there seems to be an unwritten competition to ‘rename’ it. The two that I previously mentioned were Molly Malone herself who immediately became known as the ‘Tart with the Cart’ or ’The Dish with the Fish’. The other was ‘The Floozy in the Jacuzzi’ – she was supposed to represent the flowing River Liffey from nearby. More disrespectfully, she was known also as ‘The Hoor in the Sewer’ – (The Whore).

She used to be sited in O’Connell Street where Nelson’s Column used to stand before it was blown up by the IRA in the 60’s. She was replaced by ‘The Spire of Dublin’ – quickly changed to ‘The Stiletto in the Ghetto’ or ‘The Erection at the Intersection’ or ‘The Stiffy by the Liffey’ or ‘The North Pole’ or finally ‘The Nail in the Pale’.

Famous writers do not receive any special dispensation from the Dublin wit. The statue of Oscar Wilde quickly became ‘The Quare in the Square’ – (quare = queer).

The world-renowned James Joyce leaning on a walking stick became ‘The Prick with the Stick’ whilst the statue of two Dublin women sitting and talking became ‘The Hags with the Bags’.

I have kept the best of all to last. They (Dublin Corporation), and this is no Irish joke, put a Digital Clock under water in the Liffey close to O’Connell’s Bridge. (I still think it was done as a joke). It rapidly got covered with Liffey muck and equally as fast got renamed ‘The Time in the Slime’.

I could not find any statue of Brendan Behan * – I am sure that the Corporation completely bottled out on that one. However, no trace of the following can be found in his writings so it too must have been penned by some Dublin wit. He is supposed to have said of himself that he was ‘A Drinker with Writing Problems’. Again, he is supposed to have answered when asked the difference between ‘poetry and prose’:

‘There was a young fellah named Rollocks,
Who worked for the Farrier Pollocks.
As he walked on the Strand,
With his girl by the hand,
The tide came up to his knees’.

He is supposed to have added "Now that’s Prose. If the tide had been in, it would have been Poetry".

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Dublin – what a beautiful, what’s the word?…………………. Ah yes, dump……………

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Addendum: As a result of a further search I found the statue of Brendan Behan. I am sure old Brendan would not mind me calling it 'The Turd with the Bird'...

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