Mushrooms – Magic….
When I was young, my father would rise at about 4.30am throughout June, especially after a good night’s rain, and traipse across the country fields searching for his favourite meal – mushrooms. After a few hours he would return most times with a pillowcase full of mushrooms of all sizes. It was one of his favourite pastimes. I went with him several times, but the early rising used to leave me shattered for days.
Oddly enough, he would only pick those from the meadows well away from trees and hedgerows. It was only when I went to Italy and my daughter’s in-laws took us up the mountains that I realised that there were dozens of different varieties that were edible. Bearing in mind that the Italians are willing to eat almost everything, they were all delicious in their own way.
Once whilst playing golf in Ireland, we turned around a corner and saw on the fairway ahead of us, about six young men on their hands and knees. We called ‘fore’ and hit through them. When we reached them, I saw that they each had a large plastic bag containing very small mushrooms. When asked, they informed us that they were ‘magic mushrooms’, which they sold in the clubs in Dublin. They had enough to ‘turn-on’ half the population of Ireland, let alone Dublin
I was once on Duty in my Police Station in London when a (then) famous rock singer answered bail for possessing such mushrooms. It appeared that the law required that the mushrooms had to be changed from their natural state, such as by chopping up etc., before a criminal offence was committed. When handed the mushrooms, he was reluctant to take them. When the matter was fully explained, he took the property bag, opened it and still looking at us, stuffed them into his mouth and swallowed them. He left the station floating on air.
In the forest where I now play golf, at different times of the year, various types of mushrooms are in abundance. The photographs in this blog are mine and were taken over a period of a couple of years. Some of the types, (the ones that look like brown bread rolls), are highly sought after by London restaurants and are a delicacy. Because of my upbringing I would not dare to try them.
Another interesting aspect of mushrooms is that research scientists have discovered that fungi (which includes all mushrooms) are more closely related to human beings and animals than to other plants.
It probably goes to prove that when we used to call certain senior police officers ‘The Mushroom’ we were not far wrong. We used to say ‘Feed him loads of bullshit and keep him in the dark’ – in reference to the manner in which cultivated mushrooms are farmed.
A final thought is that the ‘honey mushroom’, which grows in parts of America can be enormous. Enormous - that is underground. The largest known living organism on earth was discovered in the Malheur National Forest in Oregon. It lives three feet underground and is judged to cover 2,200 acres. A tiny proportion sprouts mushrooms above ground and testing from various sites within the acreage proved them all to of one organism. To put its size into more perspective, it is 3 ½ miles across and would cover 1,655 football fields.
And finally, finally: Whilst humans and most other species are limited to two sexes, mushrooms have 36,000 sexes.
So, what do you call a mushroom with a ten-inch stalk? ….. A Fungi to be with !
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