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Friday, 21 June 2019

A Magical New Invention...


There’s a Hole in my Bucket, dear Lisa…..




Or so the Sonny and Cher song used to tell us, but my story is – well – not exactly a hole in it so much, but more of, let us just say, a catastrophe……

The year I speak of was about 1947.   My Mum’s family, the Gormans came from a little village in the centre of Ireland. They were small farmers – not in stature – merely in the amount of land they had. They lived in a small cottage that was actually thatched, whitewashed, no toilet and no running water. I might also mention, no electricity and no gas. All the cooking was done on a large fire and the fire area actually had a seat almost inside the chimney breast.  It was my favourite spot in the evenings.   I loved it.

They kept some pigs and chickens and the main crop cultivated was beet (for sugar refining). The family also contracted themselves out during harvest time gathering in other larger farmers’ crops. There were three boys and three girls in the family along with Granny and Granddad.

Because they had no running water, it was necessary to go to the village pump some distance away with one of the large stainless steel buckets that were kept for the purpose. Even empty they weighed a ton to a small boy of seven or eight.

The fun and games used to start when there was heavy rain and the race began between Granny Gorman and Mrs. Doyle her next door neighbour. The Prize – I hear you ask. Well, it was the use of the school drainpipe opposite to fill the buckets with precious soft rain water, thereby saving several trips to the water pump.

Just after the war, my two brothers and I would be sent off on the train and bus to be collected by Granny at the nearby main town, with the donkey and cart. She loved having us visit and stay for a week or so.

In that part of Ireland, in high summer, it is still bright almost until midnight and it was the only time when we could stay up really late. They would take us to an abandoned orchard where we gathered gooseberries and as many apples as we could carry. I won’t mention the rabbits, as they were part of the staple diet of all country people in those days.

So….. On one of my dad’s return home trips on leave from the RAF in England, he brought with him a new invention. He probably nicked them from the RAF stores knowing him. ‘They’ were two plastic buckets which quite honestly we had never seen anything like them before in our lives. We were to take them with us on our next visit to Granny Gorman. We were very happy to do so as they weighed less than one tenth of the stainless steel buckets.






Not long after they arrived, away we went on the train, the bus, the donkey and cart and arrived at Grannies. We presented her with the buckets and other small presents from home. 

Now if you think that we were surprised when we saw the buckets in the first place, you should have seen her face. She looked at the buckets from all angles; raised them above her head; pushed the sides in to see them spring out again. Whilst doing all this she never spoke. Eventually she exclaimed ‘Mother of God, will you look at that. Sure what will them Yanks invent next’. To her it was some sort of magic…………….

Much to our surprise, she insisted on going with us to the water pump to show off her new presents to her neighbours. She must have filled both buckets at least six times and emptied them again. I can still see the look of pure pleasure and joy on her face.

All went well for a couple of days until – and we never had any idea that this was part of Grannies ritual she half-filled one of the new buckets. You see, normally on Thursdays she used to boil up her underwear and small items in one of the steel buckets. So, in went the water, in went the soap and in went the clothing. Onto the hook over the roaring fire went the bucket. Not the stainless steel one a plastic one.

Within minutes, a loud hissing sound and steam everywhere caught our attention. We ran to the fire and saw the bucket melting, the water escape onto the fire and Grannies drawers and such now congealed with melted plastic. ‘Mother of God’ she cried ‘the blinking bucket is melting. That’s impossible…………’.   She stood there transfixed and utterly amazed.

You know something? I now reckon that was Grannie’s introduction to modern inventions. God only knows what she would have made of the latest mobile phones, computers and such.



----------------Mike---------------

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