Why, oh Why, do you have to Lie

The Liar.

The question I ask of my Lord, who is wise,

Is why do some people always tell lies?

Is it that their lives are oh so plain,

That they tell the same lies, again and again?

‘I caught a great pike, it was forty-five pound’,

‘I scored sixty-eight, ‘twas a sub par round’

‘I won a small fortune on a great dog’

‘I twice ran the marathon, just for the jog’.

‘I got ten ‘ A’  levels, when I was at school’

‘I was a great forward, I kicked like a mule’

‘I played at Wembley, for the English Schoolboys’

‘I’m telling the truth, I never tell lies’.

‘I drove a Ferrari at the old Brands Hatch’

‘I once got out Botham, with a wonderful catch’

‘ Then scored ninety runs and never got out’

‘I fought Henry Cooper, and knocked him about’.

‘I once ran a great race, a sub four minute mile’

‘I’ll prove it to you, if you just give me a while’

‘I’ve jumped over eight feet, in the high jump’

‘Oh and about Botham, I still have the stump’.

‘I once scored a maximum in a snooker match’,

‘I won the club championship, playing off scratch’,

‘I was once worth a million, but lost it at cards’

‘I drove my Cortina, from Scotland -  backwards’.

‘ The truth is of course, that I’m  no bloody use,

I never did anything, I had an excuse,

But if I’d  the chance, these things I’d have done,

But then again, maybe, I wouldn’t have won’.

‘ So take this advice, from an inveterate liar,

Don’t accept what I say, or the result could be dire,

The best thing to do when you meet someone like me,

Is believe nothing you hear, and half what you see’.

--------Mike------