A Dream Come True.

 Still the Most Beautiful Woman in the World....

There is nothing so depressing, no matter what time of year it is, as being stuck in any airport awaiting the arrival of a delayed flight.................

It was a cold miserable January Thursday evening in 1998 and I had been at London Heathrow Airport since 7.30pm in plenty of time to meet my son-in-law on his way back from Italy. I was shattered and all I wanted to do all day was catch up on my sleep, which had been greatly mixed up over the previous few weeks. 

Whether it was the three celebratory dinners I had over the previous fortnight, I am not quite sure which caused it but my stomach was still in turmoil with up to four or five visits to the gents each day. As I have said I was totally shattered. My stomach churned once more and if ever I needed an anti acid pill, this was the time.

The flight was now over two hours late with no estimation of the arrival time. Nothing left to do but just wait. I found myself a very uncomfortable hard seat, tucked my quilted jacket up over my ears, pulled by cap down and closed my eyes.

Suddenly, my attention was drawn to a voice over the loudspeaker: "Miss Raquel Welsh...please report to the nearest British Airways desk". “Who did she say?” I asked the woman who was seated close to me.   She merely said “Someone called Raquel”.  “This I have got to see” I said aloud and immediately jumped out of my seat and literally ran over to the desk and watched.

Now, I am not sure if you know who Miss Welch is in fact or whether or not you even care, but to me since I first saw her on the cinema screen in 1966 she was my idea of 'perfection'.   It was a film called something like ‘A million years BC’ or something like that.  I remember very little about it except that there were dinosaurs and of course Miss Welch in all her glory.   I remember the moment I first saw her as if it were yesterday.   She was still the most beautiful woman I have ever seen........

So there I stood thirty years later, expecting or maybe I should say praying that it was her.   I had watched her in many films since the first and she only got more beautiful with age.

"Oh my God, it's true", I said aloud to no-one in particular "it is her". As I saw her approaching, my heart was pounding! I grabbed some paper from the counter and waited until she had finished her conversation with the clerk, then I made my approach.   She was as beautiful as ever and although you should never mention a woman’s age, I knew that she was now 58.   To me she looked no more than 30.....

"Miss Welsh" I stuttered, "May I have your autograph if you please?"  Oh my goodness me, she is even more beautiful that in the films..........unbelievably beautiful. Those high cheekbones, those beautiful, beautiful eyes, that cheeky nose and, oh yes, those perfect ruby lips...................

I was brought back to reality when she asked, "Whose name will I put?" she asked in a surprisingly soft American accent. "Michael if you please" I could hardly say the words. 

As she handed it back to me she looked around then said those words that I will never, ever forget "That will cost you a Jack Daniel’s Michael, lead the way".

I will be honest at this stage, but it is a fact that I almost wet my pants. Me, the same age as she, but looking at least 40 years older than her, buying my Goddess a drink. And not only that, but she took my arm as we made our way to one of the many nearby bars in the Arrivals area.

She stood beside me at the bar. The most beautiful woman in the world - with me - an old so-and-so like me. "Good Lord", I said to myself "I must be dreaming".

We sat down with our drinks, my orange juice and her large Jack Daniel’s. She was sitting so close that I began to have a panic attack. "Relax" she said softy and coyly "I am not going to eat you Michael - at least not quite yet". I swear to God, but it caused me to spill my orange juice all over my trousers and what do you think she did, yes, you have guessed. She took out a tissue and began to wipe my thigh. I was convinced that I was going to die...… 

"Take me outside somewhere Michael" she said in a whisper, "I need some fresh air". As I stood up, I got a twitch in my right leg and it looked as if I actually began to do a little Irish jig. "All right twinkle toes, what's your exit strategy?" she laughed.

So, you can believe me or believe me not, there we were, Raquel Welsh and me, making our way out onto the forecourt with her leading me towards the short-stay car park.

As she grabbed me beside the bushes, she hissed "Can we, for one second, please forget the fact that you are happily married". She then put her arms around my neck. That was it, I think I actually fainted and fell hard onto the car park tarmac. I felt a sudden sharp bump.......................

What the hell, where am I? Who's that? What the hell is going on?....

I looked at the carpeted floor at eye level, the size ten black shining shoes, the dark trousers, then up to the flack-jacket and sub-machine gun. What the hell is going on?

It then hit me like a ton of bricks, I had obviously been asleep, having a wonderful dream and fallen off the seat. The armed police officer asked sternly "Are you ill, sir, or have you had too much to drink?"  "No, Guvnor, I promise you. I fell asleep and slid off the seat, I am very sorry" I stuttered in reply.

He seemed satisfied and left me to my own devices.    Very sorry? Very bloody sorry? –Good Lord, that has to have been the understatement of the century or possibly all time..................

Please God, please - just for once in my lifetime, can I please have just one dream that comes true?.................

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