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Friday, 8 March 2019

Too Many Horses............



‘After the Lord Mayor’s Show.......’



This is an expression used by Londoners and now spread elsewhere, that goes to prove that when you reach the top, there is only one direction that you can go.   I will explain further as I go along...........

Firstly, let me give you a little background:    The ‘City of London’ is not that which most people consider to be ‘London’.   It is in fact, one square mile on the north bank of the River Thames and has its own Lord Mayor, its own Police Service and many, many other quirks.   Just a quick for instance:  a Freeman of the City has the right to drove sheep across the river bridges all of which are also  within  the  jurisdiction  of  the  City – most  of which, if not in fact all, are outside the square mile.  Confused?......Carry on......

Having elected a new Lord Mayor, a parade is held.    It is always quite spectacular and takes place on the second Saturday in November.      It dates back to 1535 and continued throughout World War 2.    The Mayor rides in a State Coach which was built in 1757 at the princely cost of £1,065.0s.3p.  What the 3p cost was for one can only guess, but it was probably for a  replacement  screw  or  something  similar.



The coach is pulled by six horses and traditionally they were large Shire horses from Whitbread’s Brewery which used to be situated on the edge of the city.   They were used to deliver beer throughout London on ordinary days...........



 During the parade, the Mayor’s coach is ‘guarded’ by Pike men from the Honourable Artillery Company which has its headquarters in City Road just outside the city.   This is the oldest regiment in the British Army and as a ‘Privileged Regiment’ they are one of the few that have the ‘right to march through the square mile with bayonets fixed, colours flying and drummers drumming’.   They are basically a volunteer force made up generally speaking of city  employees  who work  mainly  in the city banking and insurance sectors.

They are also flanked by about forty mounted horsemen of I think, the Queen’s Household Cavalry.  They are fabulously dressed in full regalia.

I have often policed the parade during my police career and one occasion in particular will always stick out in my mind.    I was on duty outside the main army gate with some Military Police (Red Caps) as the soldiers arrived in civilian clothes carrying their uniforms and boots.

On this particular day, one of the soldiers was running late and bustled his way through the public crowd who were standing nearby.   His beautifully ‘bulled’ shiny boots fell from his arms onto the pavement.   He swore at the woman who bumped into him.   

Without any hesitation, one of the Red Caps stepped forward and took him into custody at the same time kicking his beautiful boots along the pavement, through the gate and all the way towards the Guard Room.    I bet the soldier never swore again in his life.......

I do not know what the final outcome was in fact but I am certain that it was not pretty...................

The military side of the parade leaves the Regimental H.Q. and makes its way to London Wall where it forms up with the civilian section.    There are ‘floats’ of every description extolling the virtues of city companies.    There are several military bands and representatives from all kinds of groups including the British Legion, the Army in general, the Navy, the Air Force and many, many other groups.   In fact, if one was to stand and watch, it would take   probably  two  hours for the entire lot to pass.........

It is a truly spectacular event and well worth watching.   I almost forgot, there is generally speaking (weather permitting) also a ‘fly-past’ of old aircraft –Spitfires, Wellingtons and many others.

If you were to watch the parade pass by in its entirety, you would see from where the title of this post comes.  The absolute final person to pass is a little Corporation road sweeper with what looks like a large wheel barrow and sweeping brush.   He clears up the horse-dung.................



So you see, the moral of this story is:  When you have reached the top of your game, the pinnacle of your career or other similar situation, the greatness (the Lord Mayor’s Inauguration for instance) is always followed by a ‘major let down’ – namely the one who has to clean up the crap you leave behind you..........

(I am also reminded of an old police piece of wisdom:  ‘In this job you are always in the crap – it is merely the depth that varies).



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