A Kerry Joke. (or Three)

Paddy and his Donkey.

Paddy was taking his vegetables including sacks of potatoes to market on his donkey and cart.   He came to a low brick arch and as he tried to encourage the donkey to go under, he began to shy back when his ears hit the roof.

Paddy could see that there was nothing else he could do so he began to chip away at the roof with a hammer and chisel.

A passing English visitor saw what was going on and stopped.   When told what was happening, he suggested to Paddy that as the ground under the arch was soft, he would be better off digging some of the soil away.

‘Now would you get back off to England and mind your own business’ said Paddy.  ‘Can’t you see, ‘tis his ears that’s too long, not his bloody legs’.

Mike.

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Paddy and the Eggs..

Paddy’s wife Mary had warned him that if he did not do the hovering whilst she was out shopping, he need not expect her to do anything for him for the next month.  So he got stuck in and did the house from top to bottom.  

Whilst in the spare room, he had to move a box from under the bed.  He of course opened it out of curiosity and to his surprise he found about over one thousand pounds and four eggs.  

As soon as Mary returned he challenged her and after an initial denial she made a full confession. 

‘I am sorry Paddy’ she cried ‘but whenever I was unfaithful to you, I put an egg into the box’.  Paddy thought to himself that four eggs in 25 years of marriage was not too bad but then asked her about the cash.  

Well’ she said ‘I have told you the truth so far, so I might as well tell you the rest.  You see, whenever the eggs came to a dozen, I sold them for cash’.

 

Mike…………

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A Kerry Ghost..

The young priest moved to the village in Kerry and began by visiting his parishioners.

The next Sunday, from the pulpit he spoke to the congregation.  ‘Ladies and Gentlemen, whilst speaking with the villagers I was totally amazed and shocked at the number of people who believe in superstition and the like.   Tell me how many of you have ever seen a ghost?    About ten people raised their hands. ‘My God’ the priest exclaimed.  ‘And how many of you have touched a ghost? he asked.   About five people raised their hands.   ‘My goodness me’ the priest exclaimed.   ‘And how many of you have had sex with a ghost?’   He was amazed when Paddy at the back of the church raised his hand.   ‘Are you seriously telling me that you have had sex with a ghost?’ the priest asked.

Paddy raised his hand and said ‘Ah now Father, sure I didn’t I think  you said a goat’………

Mike.

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